RIP Anne

Yes, I lost someone I really love 5 months back, and it is to why I actually stopped blogging. I never had the courage to write something up. I always find myself just looking at the screen, not knowing if I should write, and end up just closing the page down. 

I did not want to write about my brother's passing, and that is also the reason why I find it hard to blog. I just had the urge to write about it, but I don't want to as I was still mourning over his death, and I would break down into tears whenever I think of it.

Losing two people I love in a year was just devastating. It is affecting me mentally. I cannot sleep at night, fearful of what might happen while I sleep. The reason to this is because both my grandfather and brother's death happened while I was asleep. My brother, yes, he passed on while I was asleep, but my grandfather, I dreamt of him passing on the night before in my sleep. Yes, that is why it is hard for me to sleep now. I just kept on thinking of what could happen if I sleep,

I am afraid that it might happen again. I cannot bear the thought of losing anyone else.

I love you. Rest In Peace, R Anne

Semester 5

Not knowing how fast time has flown by, I am already in the 8th week of my semester five. Of course being typical me, I don't update or blog or write that much if I don't feel like it. There is just a random day where I would feel like blogging, and that day is today.

I have gone through five semesters, and not once have I regretted of the choice I made of choosing the course and college I am currently enrolled in now. The people I have met throughout the past five semesters are people I am trully blessed to have got to know them. Everyone is friendly, everyone is nice. It feels like I do belong there, and I am meant to be where I am studying now.

Only now I'm realizing that it is almost coming to an end. I would have to face the stuff I hate the most once again. The dreadfullness of having to leave something I really love, as to not wanting to but having to leave. In this case, of course, graduating. It feels like two years is not enough, and if it is longer than that, I wouldnt even mind. You just don't give a damn about a thing when you really like and love how these stuff go on in your life. It just blends on in your life, and it is a part of your daily schedule, and that is it.

Is It Love

Always, always, I fall in love with two guys at the same time. And not knowing which one I love more and which one I should choose. So why does this always happen? What are the reasons? Why can't I just love one guy at a time and be happy with it that I actually know who to love and who to be with. Why must it be complicated?